Mr.Bean Science

 

I was stuck in ELEVATOR for 3 hrs

Due to

electric failure

Mr.Bean:

Ya me too

I was stuck on ESCALATOR

for 5 hrs

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

(husband

& Wife )

husband: Will U marry , after I die.

Wife : No I

will live with my sister.

 

Wife : Will U marry , after I die.

husband:

No I will also live with your sister

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Future plans of

childrens:

Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?

Adnan:

I want 2 b a pilot.

Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.

Bina: I want 2 b

a good mother.

Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket

An

Aeroplane asks a Rocket

How is that you can fly so fast?

The

Rocket replies you will know the pain

when they put fire at your

back!

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Difference b/w secretary & private

secretary

Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private

secretary?

Ans:

Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR

&

Private

secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hi i am marrying next

week ( Funny sms )

Hi i am marrying next week

there will be a

small party and

only few persons will be invited

Hey don’t bring

any gift

just bring SOMEONE to marry me.

** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Marriage is like a

public toilet

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in

&

Those

inside are desperate to come

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a

vehicle

 

If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further

 

M0ral:

always

Keep a SPARE TYRE

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

TEACHER:

what is the

different between

problem and challenge????

 

STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem

1boy+3girls=challenge..

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

1: Look a thief has entered

our kitchen

and he is eating the cake I made.

 

2: Whom should I

call now,

Police or Ambulance?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

1. , , ,

Smart man + smart woman = romance

 

2. , , , Smart man + dumb woman =

pregnancy

 

3. , , , Dumb man + smart woman = affair

 

4. , , ,

Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

 

5. , , , Smart boss + smart

employee = profit

 

6. , , , Smart boss + dumb employee = production

 

7. , , ,

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

 

8. , , , Dumb boss + dumb

employee = overtime

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

2) kiss me

every time

 

Diana, one evening, drew her husband's attention to

the couple next door and said, 'Do you see that couple? How devoted they

are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?'

 

'I

would love to do that,' replied Diana's husband, 'but the problem

is..........she won't let me.'

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

 

3) why women are beautiful

 

'God,'

inquired Adam, 'Why did you make Eve so beautiful?'

 

'So you would

love her.'

 

'But why did you make her so dumb?'

 

'So she

would love you.'

* * * * * * * * * * * *

American: In our country ,

marriage

even takes place with email.

 

Hindi : In India, it is only with a

female

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

A lady want to see a tarot reader woman

who’ll predict her future.

 

- , , , , , , Leady , I’m sorry to inform

you that your husband will die in the near future .

 

- , , , , , , Don’t

tell me things that I already know , tell me if there would be an

investigation.

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Tcher while lecturing , noticed a student sleeping at the

back.

 

Tcher shouts 2 hs neighbor : “ wake him up!”

 

Neighbor

yells : “U put him 2 sleep , so U wake him up.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?

Son : Not

much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jack was attending the funeral service of the richest

man in the city.

Beacause he was weeping bitterly, a man asked

sadly, " was the deceases one of the dear relatives? "No" said jack.

"

Then why are you crying?" asked the stranger. " Because I'm not one of

the relatives," answered jack.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A man bought a canary from a store. He asked the seller, "

Are you sure this bird can sign?

" the seller replied, " it is a

wonderful singer."

A week later , the customer reappeared and said, "

This bird you sold me is lame."

the seller answered, " Well, you

said you wanted a singer not a dancer!"

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

A man was praying to god.

He said, "God?"

God responded,

"Yes?"

And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"

"Go right ahead", God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God said, "A million years to me is only a

second."

The man

wondered.

Then he asked, "God, what is a million

dollars worth to you?"

God

said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."

So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"

And God cheerfully

said,

"Sure!...... .just wait a second."

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